Archive for July, 2006

I am sorry!!!

The American submarines refused to sink because they defined the variables as float……. How distraught can a man get when he was unsuccessful in improving the performance of his search engine even after pouring 2 litres of Engine Oil into the floppy disk. He even tried the CD-ROM. Alas, it was read-only. Gimme a break… You seem to be expecting Pepsi to come up with a new and improved Pep-C++ soon… I really apologise for my insanity.. Its just that my computer is not booting up. Maybe the internal buses are on strike!!!

I am sorry!!!


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An Untold Story: Part I

This is Part I of ‘An Untold Story’. The preface can be found here

Rains have been quite hard this year and the entire city has been flooded at this point of time. But the Rain Gods were in no mood to relent, with rains lashing across all parts of the state. It was 2 am on a Sunday morning. It was a time when the entire Dumeelkuppam locality was asleep, except one man. He was sitting in front of his computer, and analysing the globe’s latest developments on crime, using a Windows media player (Yes, Thats our hero). Random mouse clicks and Enter key strokes marked his acknowledgement of the impending grave danger to Planet Earth. He typed some stuff furiously on the monitor and then turned to show his face. Out of nowhere, a garland of roses came flying to grace his shoulders. He thanked the Almighty, let out a little smile and went to sleep. Deep within, Kaptaan knew that he was ‘The One’ chosen to save Mother Earth.

Tomiyaami Aguckhi saw an email with priority level set to ‘Highest’ flashing on her desktop. Aguckhi was 22 year old, a bit short, but nevertheless very good looking. She did her graduation in the Tom Yum Kum University in Japan, and she was working as the seceretary to the Japanese President. She opened the attachment in the email, and she could see, ofcourse on the Windows Media Player, Kaptaan speaking in Tamil. Aguckhi was well versed with the Tamil language, so were the thousands of Presidential seceretaries across the globe. Kaptaan had proactively arranged an intensive training camp for them in Madurai, the previous year. Kaptaan said “Aliens from planet XXX are planning to launch a massive attack on our planet. The date though not very clear is not too far. We are running out of time.”

Houston.. We have an issue here… An impending alien attack not far away… Wake up the President, the White House Resident.. Yay!! That rhymes… Over and Out…

The American President’s dreams on the German Chancellor were cut short by the SOS message. The President was understandably not pleased. He called up the British Prime Minister.

Trony. Did u hear the news?

Yes Gargle

Damn you Trony. Didn’t I tell you to call me Gorgeous?’

‘Duh, huh!! Yes yes.. Just that calling you by that name is a bit difficult to Gargle, err digest’
‘Anyways, What do you mean by aliens?? Are they Lebanese?’

‘I am not very sure. Intelligence reports say they are from some other planet. Is there a Lebanon outside Earth’

‘May be. You never know!! What do we do now??’

‘What about an emergency meeting with all the G8 members or the UN Security Council or an Al Jazeera statement?’

‘I do not think those ideas will work. The only solution lies in calling up Kaptaan’

‘Kaptaan!!! Who is this Kaptaan?’

Before he could finish the question Sin a time Sittaal, the famous footballer appears out of nowhere and drills his head right into Trony’s chest.

You deserve this for your ignorance about the world’s saviour Kaptaan

Xavier?? Is he Xavier or Kaptaan??‘ queries Gargle, apparently confused between saviour and Xavier.

…. to be continued ……

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Hi folks!!! The following is my report of the undercover operation that took place very recently. I realise that most of you would not be aware of this event. This operation was deliberately kept secret from the public, as even a speck of information leaked could have proved fatal for the future of mankind. Now sit back and try to enjoy!!!

This article is not recommended for non-pregnant married women. If you are a non-pregnant married female, you have better things to do than to read this stupid story.

The original names have been changed to protect the identities!!!

A special thanks to all the mosquitos of Chennai’s Dumeelkuppam, for helping the hero to accomplish his mizzon (spelling intentional), by keeping him awake at night.

So here goes!!!

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I walk a….

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

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Cows are demure

You thought cows were supposed to roam around in farms, eat grass and get rained on. Think again

Not for the faint of heart ;))

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The last couple of days have been really tough, and I needed a break… On the lookout for some lighthearted stuff on the net, I ran into a couple of good links.

It is easy to criticise Zizou for his headbutt on Materazzi. This is precisely what everyone is doing. On the flip side, Daniel Davies of the Guardian wonders at the amazing technique of the Zidane headbutt. Read his article and challenge your friends for a headbutt match…

And if you want to know what Materazzi said to provoke Zidane, check this out and ROTFL….

I really needed this!!!

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No subject…

7 bomb blasts rocked Mumbai yesterday. Though I do not belong to Mumbai, it is a city which is very close to my heart, and the Western Rail Line is the one I take very often when I visit my folks at Andheri. I share the grief with the millions of people in the city. I really really feel terrible for Mumbai. Hope there is a meaningful breakthrough soon…..

Take care friends…..

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